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Page of chrisdowning's best tweets

@chrisdowning : Seems a bit forward

@chrisdowning: Instructions for frozen chicken pot pie:

1. Preheat oven to 400
2. Cook on baking sheet for 16 days
3. Let stand 5 minutes before serving

@chrisdowning: Mario has killed more turtles than straws have but we don't ban him.

@chrisdowning: You should be able to twist the bottom of the pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a chapstick.

@chrisdowning: Coffee will wake you up, but have you ever tried falling down a flight of stairs?

@chrisdowning: The coconut is very versatile. It can be eaten or be used to make a radio.

@chrisdowning: Between toilet paper and forest fires, bears have a lot of responsibilities.

@chrisdowning: Sorry I’m late, I was watching ghost adventures and they heard a noise.

@chrisdowning: Psychic: I’m also a medium.
Me: I’m a large or extra large depending on the brand.