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@chuuew : NASA: How's it looking up there, guys?
ASTRONAUT: I've never seen anything so beautiful.
FROG: [lost in his spacesuit] I'm struggling tbh.
@chuuew: JESUS: Take and eat; this is my body
JESUS: Drink. This is my blood
ME: Can we get another waiter please!
JESUS: This is my mixtape
@chuuew: SON: Can we have ice cream for dinner?
ME: [already ate all the ice cream for breakfast] Sorry kid, that's not a proper meal
@chuuew: ME: I like a girl with a bit of ink
OCTOPUS: Oh hey
@chuuew: PRINCIPAL: Your father needs to speak to you urgently
SON: Oh my god what's wrong
ME: I think your mother gave you my oreo thins by mistake
@chuuew: [reading horrorscope] "More horror today". That seems right
@chuuew: ME: There's something disgusting in my food
WAITER: Our plates are reflective
@chuuew: ME: [rocking out front row at a concert] Woooo
THIRD CELLIST: Please sit down
@chuuew: OPTOMETRIST: Better or worse? Better or worse?
ME: You don't *have* to talk during sex
@chuuew: WIFE: Did you get the baby their shots?
ME: Of course
BABY: [licking salt off wrist] WOOOO