Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. That's it, don't make us say cringy things like YouTubers say at the end of their videos. Click here to follow us

Page of clichedout's best tweets

@clichedout : me: i trained my cat to talk

her: let's see

me: name an object pronoun

cat: me-

me: what do i say when i'm hurt

cat: -ow

her: this sucks

me: just wait

cat: we're just getting started Linda

@clichedout: ME: we have a problem, they're out of hot dogs

HER: that's ok, i'm vegan

ME: ok we have two problems

@clichedout: her: what's up

me: i'm just driving

her: cool where

me: in the front seat

her: no i mean what location

me: driver's side

@clichedout: me: i'll have a steak

waiter: sir this is a vegan restaurant

me: oh

waiter:

me: ok i'll have a vegan

@clichedout: me: i won employee of the month

her: ur self-employed

me:

her:

me: i also got demoted

@clichedout: [creating my Tinder profile]

Are u seeking:
men [ ]
women [x]

Select one:
18-29 [ ]
30-39 [ ]
40-49 [x]
50+ [ ]

me: who needs 50 girlfriends lol

@clichedout: nurse: height

me: 6'4"

nurse: weight

me:

nurse:

me:

nurse:

me:

nurse:

me:

nurse:

me:

nurse:

me: wait for what

@clichedout: interviewer: questions about the job?

me: how can I get suspended with pay

@clichedout: HER: I can't be with a guy who thinks he's Optimus Prime

ME: I can change Becky

HER: promise?

ME: into a semi truck

@clichedout: her: *texts something funny*

me: *types hahahahaha*

*stares at it*

*deletes one ha*