@click4amanda

HR: Can you explain this??

Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes

@click4amanda

Why do they write PIZZA all over the box???? what else could possibly be in there???

@click4amanda

My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it

@click4amanda

War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I’m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.

@click4amanda

Him: Yah, I like my meat rare
Me: Rare? Like, unicorn you mean?
Him: ……
Me: Our mom’s are friends, you have to finish the date

@click4amanda

Officer: “Do you know why I’m standing here?”
Me: “You got all C’s in High School?”