HR: Can you explain this??
Me: I thought it was CORNhub, with recipes on how to make delicious corn and corn related dishes
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box???? what else could possibly be in there???
My dad called to ask if sending an email to the USA costs more. I told him a LOT more, better not risk it
War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I’m busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
Him: Yah, I like my meat rare
Me: Rare? Like, unicorn you mean?
Me: Our mom’s are friends, you have to finish the date
Officer: “Do you know why I’m standing here?”
Me: “You got all C’s in High School?”