@cloudypianos

“I have so much to do” she says, staring at a tree for five years

@cloudypianos

i wonder what my cat is thinking about when she sits curled up at my feet staring at me for hours and sharpening her hattori hanzo sword

@cloudypianos

what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom

@cloudypianos

people say Einstein dropped out of school and still was a genius but he didn’t drop out to drink fireball and start a band this is important

@cloudypianos

*lady shares a wallet photo of her son*
*i pull out a 20-part accordion wallet photo set of my dogs*

@cloudypianos

me: I want to travel to the victorian era & meet a real gentleman [takes time machine back to 1860 England]
man: 31? what are u my grandma?

@cloudypianos

“someday this will all be yours” I say to my dogs, waving my arms wildly across a half empty plate of mexican food

@cloudypianos

Obama: Please don’t talk to me until I’ve had my morning cup of Joe.

Joe: no please no more.

Obama: shut up Joe. *takes a sip of Joe*

@cloudypianos

everything in the world’s horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades