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@clyderun : At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the "I have a PhD" card.
Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye.
@clyderun: The ex hasn't moved out yet. To make her uncomfortable I left a new box of condoms out on the table. She retaliated with a pregnancy kit.
@clyderun: My company just gave the janitor the Employee of the Month Award in a big ceremony that he spent hours cleaning up afterwards.