“Hold on lemme just hotbox these bugs so I can steal and eat their goo.” -beekeepers everywhere
I was sad until I automatically connected to the local McDonald’s WiFi, then I was ~extra~ sad.
It’s not a good date unless it ends with you slowly walking off into the ocean like Godzilla.
Yawn in the club to see who’s checkin you out.
Just lookin for a girl to help me organize my plastic bag drawer.
You’re losing followers because you’re not relatable enough. Try mentioning that you eat pizza. If that doesn’t work, play the ukulele.