[trampoline park]

me: *needing to come back down every time i go up*

Sir Isaac Newton: holy shit


me: *leaving the bathroom* trust me you do not want to go in there

friend: that bad huh

me: you have no idea

[earlier in the bathroom]

man in the corner: *throwing pennies*

me: please *ow* stop *ow* throwing *ow* pennies *ow* at *ow* me


[buying an engagement ring]

clerk: that will be $10,000

me: [dragging 3 months’ celery behind me] okay please dont laugh