@corysnearowski

My wife is upset we can’t afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving

@corysnearowski

In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed

@corysnearowski

My girlfriend broke up with me. I am devastated. How could you. I did everything. I surprised you with burgers every night

@corysnearowski

In WWII soldiers left burlesque magazines around so if an enemy found it he’d yell “HOt DOG” then howl like a wolf & give away his position