Do they charge extra if you want to get a tattoo of an avocado?
It’s fine that my wife plans beach vacations every year around Shark Week but only referring to me as “chum” while we’re there is a bit much.
I’m a creative speller thus no typos, just art.
I made my son a grilled cheese with three pieces of cheese and he said that’s too much cheese.
Now my wife is mad at ME for ordering a DNA test.
I think I overdosed on comfort food last night….
That makes 7,427 days in a row.
Two things I learned this weekend are:
1. I’m not too old to get in a hammock.
2. I’m too old to get out of a hammock.
Good morning to everyone except the people who prefer the taste of margarine over butter.
Hey babe, you look hungry. I have a meal for you in my shorts.
*whips out five course meal from my cargo shorts with still frozen dippin dots for dessert*
I started this new workout that helps protect my abs and obliques by rubbing grilled cheese sandwiches on them from the inside then my body puts a protective layer around them on the outside.
I once had sex while drinking a beer and didn’t spill a drop.
I only wish there was someone else there to witness it.