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Page of cravin4's best tweets

@cravin4 : I once had sex while drinking a beer and didn't spill a drop.

I only wish there was someone else there to witness it.

@cravin4: When you just stick the tip in and then move it around and around.

- Hand held pencil sharpener

@cravin4: To inspire all the wonderful women of Twitter I'm sending you all good vibes today. Tomorrow I will ship the batteries.

@cravin4: No that's not popcorn popping, it's just the way my body sounds when I stand up.

@cravin4: Caesar: Et tu, Brute?

Brutus: We told you not to wear Crocs.

@cravin4: Boss: Stop putting fake teeth marks in the urinal cakes. You're freaking out the customers.

Me: Fake?

@Cravin4: It was that very moment when we realized our shared love for multipurpose utensils brought us together & that's when the sporks flew.

@Cravin4: There is nothing sexier than when she locks eyes with me as she finishes...

..Frying the bacon

@Cravin4: I'm so broke identity thieves sent a fruit basket with a note.
"Sorry about the ID theft. Please tell your creditors to stop calling us."

@Cravin4: Marital Law & Martial Law while look similar have very different meanings...

.. Except at my house.