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Page of crunchenhancer's best tweets

@crunchenhancer : I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.

@crunchenhancer: Google Moon is NOT what I thought it would be.

*pulls up pants

@crunchenhancer: My wife told me she "likes it rough."

So I replaced the toilet paper roll with a sandpaper roll.

-how guys understand women

@crunchenhancer: A 6'-6" guy doesn't scare me, but my 5'-1" wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married.

@crunchenhancer: Women are like campfires.

Beautiful, hot, smell great, warm your heart.

And, both don't like it if you pee on them.


@crunchenhancer: She's got a great personality!

It's the other 6 personalities that I'm worried about....

@crunchenhancer: Wife: Silent

Me: What's wrong?

Wife: Nothing

Me: Grabs shield and sword

@crunchenhancer: Can someone just invent a mirror that takes pictures already!