@crunchenhancer

I eat my Chinese food just like any other American, with chopsticks, one grain of rice at a time.

@crunchenhancer

My wife told me she “likes it rough.”

So I replaced the toilet paper roll with a sandpaper roll.

-how guys understand women

@crunchenhancer

A 6′-6″ guy doesn’t scare me, but my 5′-1″ wife does, if you were looking for inspiration to get married.

@crunchenhancer

Women are like campfires.

Beautiful, hot, smell great, warm your heart.

And, both don’t like it if you pee on them.

Mostly.

@crunchenhancer

She’s got a great personality!

It’s the other 6 personalities that I’m worried about….