@cynicanoldicus

I had pamphlets printed up for when someone asks what’s wrong with me.

@cynicanoldicus

The ex wife once told me her greatest fantasy was kneeling in front of me while I spurted all over her. She never mentioned it was my blood.

@cynicanoldicus

On the off chance I’m captured by cannibals, I’ve got a ‘Best if eaten by 1975’ tattoo on my neck.

@cynicanoldicus

Go ahead, post and claim my tweets as your own. Maybe later, if you like, I’ll come satisfy your woman and you can take credit for that too.