[At a Restaurant]

Me : Hey waitress, can i ask about the Menu please
Waitress : The men i please is none of your business


Guy : How did your date go?
Me : it was fine
Guy : Give me details

Me : I asked her out and she said “ew” but what she doesn’t know is ew backwards is we and we in French means yes, so we are dating now

Guy :


[Me on a Date with my crush]

Me : Will u eat Burger??

Her : No, I’m eating light these days

Me : Waiter! A Burger for me and an LED bulb for this lady.