After buying my limousine, I couldn’t afford a driver.
All that money and nothing to chauffer it.
My doctor told me I have high blood pressure and short term memory loss.
At least I don’t have high blood pressure.
Wife to our oldest daughter: “Go brush your teeth with your sister.”
Me to our oldest daughter: “Sweetie, don’t listen to your mother. Use a toothbrush.”
My wife was livid when I told her I used all of our savings to buy stock in Bose.
I told her to relax, it’s a sound investment.
What did one tectonic plate say to another when he bumped into the other?
Sorry! My Fault!
I was having a rough day so my wife suggested we make bread dough together.
I kneaded that.
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side
What do you call a priest that graduated from law school
Father in Law