@dadtellsjokes

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

@dadtellsjokes

I burnt My Hawaiian pizza today…

I should’ve cooked it on aloha temperature

@dadtellsjokes

Dad:I don’t trust those trees…..
Son: Why? What do you mean?
Dad: They seem kind of shady

@dadtellsjokes

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They each got six months