@daveexplosm

If God hates gays so much, why didn’t he put it in the ten commandments? Instead he’s more pissed that you’re jealous of your friend’s PS4

@daveexplosm

The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you’re doing it too.

@daveexplosm

All the guys in working out photos look like they’re straining or in pain, but there’s lots of pictures of me with cake and I look happy.

@daveexplosm

Dogs lick each other’s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians

@daveexplosm

Ever since Facebook allowed images in their comments sections people only ever communicate via pictures. We’re 21st-century cavemen.

@daveexplosm

Saw the trailer for Life Of Pi. Why are they making a Calvin & Hobbes movie in 2013?