@davidschneider

God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how’s 2016 been? Did you cope OK?

Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine.

@davidschneider

Not saying it’s wet out there but the animals are lining up two by two.

@davidschneider

I hope God rethinks his decision to allow an intern to run celebrity deaths in 2016.