Secret Santa is very disappointing if you’re self-employed.
God: [returning from year-long sabbatical] So, how’s 2016 been? Did you cope OK?
Intern who was left in charge: [looks awkward] Yep. Fine.
Not saying it’s wet out there but the animals are lining up two by two.
I hope God rethinks his decision to allow an intern to run celebrity deaths in 2016.