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@ddsmidt : When someone tells you “you don’t even know the half of it,” like it or not you’re about to hear the whole of it.
@ddsmidt: I always smile really big at people in public. Tends to freak them out, out cause I’m not good at putting on lipstick.
@ddsmidt: Naw, I don’t have jaundice. Just accidentally grabbed the wrong color foundation again.
@ddsmidt: Hubs: *Climbing ladder to put baby bird back in nest* [at my request]
*Falls off ladder*
Me: Oh my God, is the bird okay?
@ddsmidt: My cat keeps stealing my earrings off the dresser.
Jokes on her, all the backs are missing. She’ll never be able to wear them.
@ddsmidt: Mark my words, but use something erasable cause I change my mind a lot.
@ddsmidt: I wish people would stop asking me if I'm on Twitter, clearly I'm not.
@ddsmidt: I hate it when someone tells me something, then says “this information is not for public consumption.“
...As if I plan on eating it.
@ddsmidt: Me: Thank you for rescuing me from such a desperate situation.
Hubs: Again, hitting the wrong button on the remote is not a “desperate situation.”
@ddsmidt: Hubs: *under breath* No, no, please noooo...
Me: *about to say “he’s right here” and hand him the phone*