X-rays are dangerous, they were probably less harmful when they were just rays, but after the breakup…
*Feels the chill*
Chill: I have a boyfriend
Never give your address or date of birth to anyone on social media.
Armed with this information, they could show up at your birthday party.
I imagine if I had a job doing manual labor, I’d be in great shape.
Then I do 15 minutes of manual labor and reality comes back into focus.
The person with duct tape holding most of their car together always has the right-of-way.
When someone reads your message, then never responds, it’s just hurtful.
I mean, what else could they possibly have going on at 3 AM?
I’d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
Throw me to the wolves and they’ll come back with cute names, little sweaters & an affinity for baby talk.
Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.
I’m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.
The love I feel for my family is always constant. My tolerance is another matter.
People with house arrest ankle bracelets get so touchy when you compare them to a dog’s invisible fence.
Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.
I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS.
Familiarity with a stranger might mean they’re an old soul you knew in a former life.
But it’s more likely a sociopath.
~Inspirational