@ddsmidt: Just because I've forgiven you doesn't mean I won't want to throat punch you the next time I see you.
Thought you should know.
@ddsmidt: When someone tells you “you don’t even know the half of it,” like it or not you’re about to hear the whole of it.
@ddsmidt: I always smile really big at people in public. Tends to freak them out, out cause I’m not good at putting on lipstick.
@ddsmidt: Naw, I don’t have jaundice. Just accidentally grabbed the wrong color foundation again.
@ddsmidt: Hubs: *Climbing ladder to put baby bird back in nest* [at my request]
*Falls off ladder*
Me: Oh my God, is the bird okay?
@ddsmidt: My cat keeps stealing my earrings off the dresser.
Jokes on her, all the backs are missing. She’ll never be able to wear them.
@ddsmidt: I hate it when someone tells me something, then says “this information is not for public consumption.“
...As if I plan on eating it.