@dimplesticks

Me: I’m smart!

Also me: That is the weirdest looking otter I’ve ever seen!

Hubs: That’s because it’s a seal

@dimplesticks

Lionel Ritchie being British :

🎵 Hello!
Is it tea you’re looking for? 🎵

@dimplesticks

I tried being a Disney Princess but them damn budgies keep loading the dishwasher wrong

@dimplesticks

I like men with glasses because once they come off everything is a little blurry and I’m very okay with that

@dimplesticks

If your Tetris high score doesn’t excite me, you’re not loading my dishwasher

@dimplesticks

My 6yo just told me that because I need music to get motivated that makes me ‘radioactive’

@dimplesticks

People are waiting for flying cars and I’m just waiting for my supermarket to install cup holders on trolleys so I can have tea while I shop

@dimplesticks

[Hubs to my 6yo]

Hubs: So, your mother says sarcasm doesn’t work with children

6yo: You dont say!