[Hubs to my 6yo]
Hubs: So, your mother says sarcasm doesn’t work with children
6yo: You dont say!
I told my kid he mustn’t use the word ‘hate’ as it’s hurtful and mean and then I made absolutely sure he apologised to the cheese
Me: My sister is pregnant
Him: Does she know the sex?
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s how she got pregnant
In an attempt to converse about the amount of stupid in the world I unironically used the phrase , “They’re not the brightest knifes in the box”
My husband is currently holding his head in his hands and rocking
Him: So, it cost me my life savings and all my inheritance but you’re worth it, I booked us a trip on Virgin Galactic
Me: Umm…when I said I wanted space…
One of my biggest fears is going to America and asking for a biscuit only to be presented with some weird scone type thing and gravy
My dinosaur expert child just schooled me
Me: What’s the difference between the diplodocus and the brachiosaurus?
5yo: They have different names
All parents have a favourite child
Good parents pretend they don’t
Great parents at least make it one of their own
5yo : you think I’m ugly
6yo: a little bit yes, but mostly no