@discountzen

I went to walmart today. I got the cart with three wheels and a hoof. This always happens to me.

@discountzen

I told my husband that instead of leaving his dirty dishes on the counter, he should leave them in 1952 so a nice housewife cleans them up.

@discountzen

I may be 26, but I have the body of a 16 year old. Her parents are very upset. As are the police.