There’s an epidemic in Britain that makes vulnerable young women inexplicably attracted to douchebags who miss leg day.
My sister just had a baby and she seems to have forgotten all about my problems.
Women love shy guys with some sensitive sensibilities. They also love confidence and assertiveness. So, have multiple personality disorder.
Christianity is the ultimate daddy issue.
I’m an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I’m just majestic.
If you sit beside me, you’re part of my drumkit.
Spice up your Facebook timeline when someone’s status turns to “It’s complicated” by posting “thanks for last night” underneath it.
I broke up with a girl once by leaving a note on the front door that simply said: “Love doesn’t live here anymore, and now, neither do you.”
Sometimes you just have to roll down your car window and bark at people to see what they do.