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Page of donjuantip's best tweets

@donjuantip : If we start calling it 'potato juice', Vodka becomes a health drink. RIGHT??

@donjuantip: i've decided to start a new healthier lifestyle. I'm adding cranberry juice to my morning Vodka.

@donjuantip: Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...

@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, "So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."

@donjuantip: Your cell should have a 'drunk mode' like 'airplane mode' so that no text messages or tweets leave your phone but you can still call a taxi.

@donjuantip: ALCOHOL. Because no one looks back on their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.