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@dorkwing_duck : Fox Mulder, age 6: *looks under pillow* MOM! IT DISAPPEARED!
Mom: the Tooth Fairy took it, dear
Fox: you mean... the tooth is out there?
@dorkwing_duck: [PRESS CONFERENCE]
Me: I'm going on the record. Yes, I'd go back in time to kill a baby
Reporter: you mean Baby Hitler?
Me: sure, whoever
@dorkwing_duck: Me: how long are you gonna sit there picking your nose? I tried to be polite but this is absurd
Potato Head: I want to look good on my date
@dorkwing_duck: Young God: ok, a little hydrogen and-
*chemistry set explodes*
Mom: what was that?!
God: nothing! *scoops resulting universe into shoebox*
@dorkwing_duck: The scene where Indiana Jones swaps the bags and runs from a boulder but it's me trying to eat a cookie without my kid seeing me