@drewjanda

Inventor of raisins: “What do you like about grapes”
me: the juice part, the freshness
Inventor: right but what if they had neither

@drewjanda

Son, your mother and I looked at your browser history. Frankly, it’s not pretty. Do you for real need a walkthrough for Call Of Duty

@drewjanda

It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers’ houses and made women try on a shoe I found

@drewjanda

Imagine a spider. Scary, right? Wrong. This spider is imaginary. Really makes you think