(I) (H)(A)(V)(E) (W)(A)(Y) (T)(O)(O)
Me: C’mon, baby. Send me a pic.
Her: I dunno.
Me: Baby, please. I need it.
*Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck*
Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn’t the most romantic move ever.
Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps… unless she’s plotting your murder… then don’t be that.
Someone just told me that they hate bacon…
I can’t even find words…
It’s like someone just murdered a rainbow.
Trojan’s next commercial should just be a guy saying “See?” while pointing at my kids when they’re fighting over a cookie.
My kids are in Karate class and I’m just sitting here thinking that I could kick the shit out of half these 6 year olds.