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Page of dumbbeezie's best tweets

@dumbbeezie : If you can’t be fun to be around then please be a drug dealer

@dumbbeezie: If you sneeze again after I say bless you then the devil can have you

@dumbbeezie: Me: time to sleep
Brain: You have zero skills that would be useful in an apocalypse so when they start to ration food supplies, people will eat you

@dumbbeezie: We should have burned social media to the ground when they started helping us reconnect with old friends

@dumbbeezie: How about a bird that ruins people’s lives

-God creating roosters

@dumbbeezie: I want a job waking people up that I dislike.

Or I guess I could just get married

@dumbbeezie: I am not on a plant based diet but my lungs are

@dumbbeezie: I just want to know enough sign language to convince people to stop talking to me

@dumbbeezie: Your friends will stand by you even when you’re at your worst because people are stupid

@dumbbeezie: Shout out to feathers for keeping birds from being scary as hell