@dysalexia

Next time you’re on a date and someone asks “Is that your boyfriend or your brother?” smile really creepy and whisper “Both”.

@dysalexia

Pulled out all of my eyelashes so I can make more wishes. 1st wish: MONEY! 2nd wish: FRIENDS! 3rd wish: eyelashes 🙁

@dysalexia

You guys I found this new great birth control called pregnant women posting pictures on Facebook.