Man, my car is so fast, it could outrun a man combined with a horse

“You mean Centaur, right?”

Ohhh somebody went to college ooohh


“My anger began to flow through me like hot mountain sweat..”

Um, don’t you mean “Lava”?

“…like warm hill pee”


Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting!

Doug: um, I don’t know Kung f–

Carl: except for Doug from accounting