I quit watching awards shows, because I never win anything.
Don’t be a doormat, be an electric fence.
I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
If you are older than 17 and have mad love for Justin Bieber ,you are the reason whales are the most intelligent species.
I’m 5’3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality….disorder.
8 out of 6 people think I’m terrible at math.
When someone says, “Good luck with that” they actually mean “Let me grab some popcorn so I can watch you fail.”
Letsh Have Shex! -Horny Sean Connery
Mom wants me to have a baby girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.And I want a sane mother who isn’t oblivious to my Italian bloodline.