@ellewasamistake

velma: another mystery solved gang. there’s no such thing as the supernatural, just ol’ fashioned trickery

scooby doo, the talking dog: rol’ rashioned rickery

@ellewasamistake

give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, push a man into a volcano and the sun god will ensure a bountiful harvest this season

@ellewasamistake

if i were a 400 year old immortal vampire, i would simply not enrol in a local high school

@ellewasamistake

judge: do you swear to speak the truth and nothing but the truth

me: yes

judge: who do you like

me: omg dare

@ellewasamistake

commiting a crime and pretending to be a witness so i can get the police sketch artist to draw my oc for free

@ellewasamistake

king: the gods are angry with us

advisor: let’s throw a virgin into the volcano

king: how would that help

advisor: [throwing stephen in] help what

@ellewasamistake

me: god made me weak because he feared what i could do

my wife’s boyfriend: it’s okay bud, you loosened the jar for me

@ellewasamistake

velma: this man has been dressing up as a ghost and haunting the amusement park at night

judge: look, that’s really weird but you were still trespassing on his property