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@envydatropic : I text him the eggplant emoji along with "I would like this tonight" (because I'm planning dinner) and I have never seen a man so excited for vegetables.
@envydatropic: 7 years ago today I swallowed gum..... and now we wait
@envydatropic: YES I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!!!! WHY DO YOU ASK?
@envydatropic: Pennywise "I have alcohol down here"
*All of Twitter goes missing*
@envydatropic: It's all fun and games until your Uber driver pulls up and he's driving a hearse.
@envydatropic: Some things are better left unsaid
Tequila - No they're not
@envydatropic: I do this weird thing where I feel fabulous then I have to get out of bed
@envydatropic: When I'm mad at my dog, I watch dog shows on Animal Planet and ignore him.
@envydatropic: I'm brave but not just grab any shampoo off the store shelf without smelling it before buying it brave.