@JosesLovesYou @funTweeters The slang in Japanese for periods IS Hinomaru (That’s the name of the Japanese flag) 🙂
You Might Also Like
I consider sexual harrassmemt a compliment. I mean they only do it if your hot right?
feeling some mixed emotions while eating dried apricots because it’s like i’m eating human ears but they’re tasty
What in the hell is “disposable income”?
[Leaving bar]
GF: You okay to drive?
Me: I’m fine.
GF: You FEEL okay, but what would you blow?
M: 2 guys, tops.
GF:
M:
GF:
M: What?
time for some seasonal decor
Optometrist: better or worse?
Me: oooo worse – I can see your face now
Quietly she fades away, drifting closer to nothingness.
Nothingness whispers, “I already have a girlfriend.”
next time you hear The Boys Are Back In Town think of me, the unsung hero, who chases the boys out of town with a broom
Do not stop by my house unexpectedly then act surprised when I answer the door in my underwear eating baked beans straight from the can.
Me: have a good day make good choices!
My kid: no promises!
[babies txting]
“my dad’s thumb just came off”
lol wtf 😂
“wait its back on again nvm”
ok lmao
“he just stole my nose”
im phoning the police
Nothing is worse than having a cranberries song stuck in your head, in your head, in your heeeeeeeeeeaaaad zombie zombie zombie eee eee
He died doing what he loved – meeting people from Craigslist to buy furniture.
Really wanted to be a therapist until I got a Twitter account and read some of you guys problems and I want nothing to do with that mess
It’s like joking about bombs in the TSA security line. Is it protected speech? Yes. Is it a crime? No. Are you going to have a bad day? Yes.
Mob Boss: did you make it look like an accident
Me: oh yeah I rear ended him before I shot him
[watching The Notebook]
Her: Noah wrote Allie a letter every day for a year
Me: I bet each one just said, Hey
[First date] You didn’t google the menu before you came to the restaurant? This isn’t going to work.
Me: how much for the goth harmonica?
Store Clerk: that’s a cheese grater
Imagine you’re about to have surgery and right before the anesthesia kicks in you notice a “University of Phoenix” degree on the wall
Taxi driver: Where to?
Me: Inbetween one and three.
Taxi driver: Get out.
Me: Pfft.. There is scientific evidence that a woman’s brain is lighter than a man’s.
Her: Perhaps because it gets more exercise.
A couple is asleep when their doorbell rings at 3am.
The wife shakes the husband and says “Honey, there’s someone at the door.”
The husband, irritated gets up and opens the door to an obviously drunk man.
“Can I help you?”
“Could you give me a push?” asks the drunk man.…
LOOOOOOL
If I ever got a horse I would name her Grace, just in case I ever fell from her.
To be honest, the only thing I really like about being a grownup is getting to eat a Popsicle right after I finish eating a Popsicle.
I’m a:
⚪man
⚪woman
🔘cowboyOn a:
⚪skateboard
⚪carpet
🔘steel horseI:
⚪shred
⚪fly
🔘rideI’m wanted (wanted):
🔘dead
🔘alive
Me: *lighting candles* don’t mind me, just setting the mood
Her: *backs out of elevator before doors close*
Saw a bird at my feeder shit on another bird’s head and that bird just kept right on eating. I’ve never before felt this close to nature.
My boss accidentally muted himself on this zoom meeting 20 minutes ago and none of us have told him