@errdayhustlah

I bet Columbus was super pissed when he rolled up in the Santa María only to find Dora had already explored America.

@errdayhustlah

My kid sat on the floor of a public restroom, so I had to throw him away and now I have to make a new one.

Parenting is hard, you guys.

@errdayhustlah

Whenever people say “don’t judge me” I like to imagine them in the weird wigs British judges wear.

*whispers*
Judged you.

@errdayhustlah

If by chipper you mean woodchipper, then yes, I have a chipper personality.

@errdayhustlah

According to my neighbor’s rooster, it’s 5am now.
Also according to my neighbor’s rooster, we’re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.

@errdayhustlah

No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I’d go on a road trip with my mom.