@eslpaul

I’m going to Costco later if anyone wants to share a 24-pack of mini fridges

@eslpaul

Worst part about going to the dentist is sitting in the waiting room, anticipating, dreading, listening to the poor guy already in there, knowing that you’ll be next to get floss-shamed

@eslpaul

Me: I need to know if it’s a bit breezy out and I need to know now! and at all the other times, day and night, and I need the neighbours to know too

Wind chimes: we won’t let you down sir

@eslpaul

America is getting murder hornets

Canada is getting I said good day sir! *puts top hat back on rather more forcefully than is necessary* hornets