@fart

the youtube algorithm is good because you’ll watch a video about hamburgers and for 6 weeks you’ll get recommended videos like Why Hamburgers Ain’t Liberal and Ted Cruz Destroys Libtard Eating Hamburger and Joe Rogan Describes Hamburgers On Astral Plane

@fart

when a date asks you what your dreams are you gotta say you want a family or a great career or something. dont bring up the one where you catch a meteorite with a baseball glove and its the shrunken head of your old gym teacher who tells you the exact date and time you will die

@fart

theres a train nerd counting the number of ppl that get on and off at every stop. at first i pitied him but he seems happy so now i hate him

@fart

muppets cannot die and nobody else seems to be worried about this

@fart

Q: Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?
A: a hot air balloon
#JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts

@fart

btw, my linkedin endorsements for “Dreamweaver” are for me singing the song Dreamweaver and not for using that software

@fart

the bad guy ships on star trek werent actually “cloaking” they just turned all their lights off