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Page of fro_vo's best tweets

@fro_vo : MOM LEAF: omg you changed color
KID LEAF: yeah everyone's doing it
MOM LEAF: oh so if all the other leaves fell off the tree would you do it too

@fro_vo: [first day as a soldier]
ME: whoa i almost stepped on a land grenade

SARGE: mine

ME: whoa i almost stepped on your land grenade

@fro_vo: MATH TEACHER: what is half of thirty
ME: thi

@fro_vo: Student Teacher: okay class, who knows what an oxymoron is
Kid: you’re an oxymoron
Student Teacher: well yes technically that is correct

@fro_vo: you, a dumb idiot: today is friday the 13th
me, a wise genius: there have been way more than 13 fridays

@fro_vo: Dad: listen to me son: don't ever let anyone tell you what to do
Son: okay
Dad: *slams fist* WHAT DID I JUST SAY

@fro_vo: ME: how will i die
FORTUNE TELLER: you will be hit by a car
ME: will my wife miss me
FORTUNE TELLER: perhaps i wasn’t clear

@fro_vo: Me: if 1001 is “one thousand one” then 1000 should be “one thous”

Photo of Albert Einstein: you make a very good point but i don’t know what we can do about it

@fro_vo: if umpires are supposed to be so decisive then they should just be called pires

@fro_vo: [restaurant]
WAITER: here’s your check
ME: can we split it
WAITER: yes of course
DATE: *reaches for card*
ME: no it’s cool me and the waiter got this