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Page of fro_vo's best tweets

@fro_vo : Student Teacher: okay class, who knows what an oxymoron is
Kid: you’re an oxymoron
Student Teacher: well yes technically that is correct

@fro_vo: you, a dumb idiot: today is friday the 13th
me, a wise genius: there have been way more than 13 fridays

@fro_vo: Dad: listen to me son: don't ever let anyone tell you what to do
Son: okay
Dad: *slams fist* WHAT DID I JUST SAY

@fro_vo: ME: how will i die
FORTUNE TELLER: you will be hit by a car
ME: will my wife miss me
FORTUNE TELLER: perhaps i wasn’t clear

@fro_vo: Me: if 1001 is “one thousand one” then 1000 should be “one thous”

Photo of Albert Einstein: you make a very good point but i don’t know what we can do about it

@fro_vo: if umpires are supposed to be so decisive then they should just be called pires

@fro_vo: [restaurant]
WAITER: here’s your check
ME: can we split it
WAITER: yes of course
DATE: *reaches for card*
ME: no it’s cool me and the waiter got this

@fro_vo: BARTENDER: what can i get you
MOTH: gimme a bug light

@fro_vo: BEAR IN A TRENCHCOAT: yes i’m here for the fish tube job

@fro_vo: Sperm: hey
Egg: hi
Fallopian Tube: ugh get a womb u two