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Page of frogshack's best tweets

@frogshack : [watching Jaws]

Me: Which ones Jaws

Girlfriend: Who do u think?

Me: (noticing all of the characters so far have jaws) Idk its hard 2 tell

@frogshack: I feel so stupid for believing in Santa Claus. How did I not realize this whole time it was my parents delivering the gifts to everyone in the world

@frogshack: *finds baby on doorstep*

Me: Should...should we keep it?

Wife: ...Let's sleep on it

Me: (wide-eyed) Christ Deborah that'd kill him

@frogshack: [Walking thru a dark alley late at night]

Thug: This is an arm robbery!

Me: Don't u mean "armed" robbery?

Thug: *takes out chainsaw* Nope

@frogshack: [in the car with the wife]

*I take both hands off the wheel*

Wife: Thank you, that was making it very hard for me to drive