shouting “corner!” and “behind!” while heating up cup noodles in the office break room
1800’s ship captain: This expedition will be the most dangerous undertaking and we all may well perish on the journey. We should bring a monkey with us. It will live in my room.
guy finding a big puddle of blood in a horror movie: (touches it and looks at his fingers) it’s blood
whenever i eat at a restaurant i make sure to sit with my back to the wall facing the door, that way if a dracula comes in i can kill myself before things get too scary