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Page of funnyordie's best tweets

@funnyordie : Roses are red
Violets are blue
Keep your goddamn mouth closed
Whenever you chew

@funnyordie: LIFE HACK: If a person is drowning, you can save their life by putting them in a bag of rice

@funnyordie: TRUMP: I don't have a subpoena. I have a very huge poena.

@funnyordie: Martin Shkreli can look forward to a 5,000% markup on cigarettes in his near future.

@funnyordie: Someone should probably go check on Steve.

@funnyordie: BRAZIL: Can you describe your attacker?

RYAN LOCHTE: You wouldn't know him. He goes to another Olympics.

#LochteGate

@funnyordie: Usain Bolt has the greatest Tinder profile picture of all time on his hands.

@funnyordie: Shouts out to the Trump Tower suction cup guy for being the second craziest person to ascend that building.