SEVEN DEADLY SINS
Calling me instead of just texting
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Keep your goddamn mouth closed
Whenever you chew
LIFE HACK: If a person is drowning, you can save their life by putting them in a bag of rice
TRUMP: I don’t have a subpoena. I have a very huge poena.
No regrets in 2018
Martin Shkreli can look forward to a 5,000% markup on cigarettes in his near future.
Someone should probably go check on Steve.
BRAZIL: Can you describe your attacker?
RYAN LOCHTE: You wouldn’t know him. He goes to another Olympics.