Me: And what about this one?
Waiter: Sir, this is a seafood restaurant. We have many items that taste “fishy”.
me: can I go on your yacht?
me: why nacht?
friend: your texts are annoying
me: that’s what I thacht 🙁
– Tony the Tiger’s wife
Dads in the 80s: I want satellite tv so bad.
Satellite tv installer: How bad?
Dads: REALLY bad
Installer: Like “gigantic satellite bolted to a cement slab that takes over your entire yard” bad?
Whoever is making cheese commercials can save their money. We’re buying cheese and and we’re never going to stop buying cheese.
Cardi B’s full name is Cardiovascular Blockage