when you gotta take the souls of the damned to the underworld, but need to reduce your carbon footprint
Is that two bananas in your pocket or are you happy to see me and also have one banana in your pocket?
Too tall: “How’s the weather up there?”
Too short: “How’s the weather down there?”
Average height: “I am cursed to rely on others to know what the weather is like”
🎶Somebody once told me the world was gonna roll me🎶
SECRET SOCIETY OF WORLD ROLLERS: Who talked?!
For sale: Baby, won’t stop selling its shoes.
AMERICA: We don’t need the metric system, our measurement system is fine
AMERICAN MEASUREMENT SYSTEM:
[Not realizing Black Mirror episode is just stuck buffering]
“Ah yes, this is excellent social commentary”
DORA: “Swiper, no swiping!”
SWIPER: “oh, man”
*Wealthier fox shows up, swipes everything*
DORA: “That’s OK, it’ll trickle down”
GOD: That’s the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones
ANGEL: Will do
GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises
Oh, you’re an American? Yeah, right.
Name 5 disastrous foreign policy decisions.