Funny Tweeter

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Page of geekysteven's best tweets

@geekysteven : AMERICA: We don't need the metric system, our measurement system is fine
AMERICAN MEASUREMENT SYSTEM:

@geekysteven: [Not realizing Black Mirror episode is just stuck buffering]
"Ah yes, this is excellent social commentary"

@geekysteven: DORA: "Swiper, no swiping!"
SWIPER: "oh, man"
*Wealthier fox shows up, swipes everything*
DORA: "That's OK, it'll trickle down"

@geekysteven: GOD: That's the last of the animals. Now add warning colors to the poison ones
ANGEL: Will do
GOD: But not all of them, keep some surprises

@geekysteven: Oh, you're an American? Yeah, right.
Name 5 disastrous foreign policy decisions.

@geekysteven: Toy Story (1995) - A influential local leader harasses an immigrant who is struggling to adapt to local customs.

@geekysteven: ME: "Hey, the 1980s called and they want their pants back"
STRANGER WHO IS SECRETLY A TIME COP: "They called?! That's a level 3 violation!"

@geekysteven: Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.

@geekysteven: "Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?"
TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935.
"Who?"
TT: Bingo

@geekysteven: BUZZ ALDRIN:They say in space no one can hear you scream, but it's not true and the other astronauts get mad at you for the rest of the trip