@gerryhatric

Just discovered that the self checkout area is not what you’d think.

@gerryhatric

According to my wife’s new feng shui consultant, I need to move out.

@gerryhatric

There are two reasons I often don’t reciprocate:

1. I get distracted.

@gerryhatric

A man was arrested on Brighton beach today for throwing pebbles at the sea birds.

He was accused of having left no tern unstoned.

@gerryhatric

My wife asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I winked at her.

She bought me eye drops.

@gerryhatric

Has anyone mastered the art of nonchalantly walking past a policeman?