Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of gianni_bcn's best tweets

@gianni_bcn : If you think you are having a bad day just remenber the guy on the Titanic who falls off the ship and hits the propellor on the way down.

@gianni_bcn: I think I pulled a muscle paying my registration fee at the gym

@gianni_bcn: [Spelling Bee]

Your word is inception

"Can you use it in a sentence?"

[Spelling Bee]

Your word is inception

@gianni_bcn: To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.

@gianni_bcn: What I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have adquired over a....

*Accidentally drops cell phone on the toilet*

@gianni_bcn: *Dies and goes toward the light*

Light: "I have a boyfriend"

@gianni_bcn: *Gets disqualified for biting opponent's ear on a chess tournament*

@gianni_bcn: Jesus: Unless you become like children you will not enter heaven

*Gets hit by a water ballon*

Jesus: That's not what I meant, Paul