Applied for a “meditation class” but missed out the first T on the enrolment form, so now I’m studying to be a marriage guidance counsellor.
Typos are dangerous, you guys.
….. and then there are people that call their chihuahuas “Cujo”
“You say you like intelligent men? Then look no further! Line forms to the….”
*Checks soles of both my shoes*
Ohio sounds like someone greeting a friend they didn’t expect to see then immediately realising it’s actually someone else
Apparently my boss wasn’t too happy with my performance during his trust fall.
I trusted him to fall, he hit the floor, I applauded. Not sure what the problem was, tbh.
These are troubling times, but as an incredibly drunk philosopher once said, “you can’t make lemonade without breaking a few eggs”
So I can’t go out drinking with friends, I’m stuck at home, no sex, just watching TV most of the time.
I’m phoning the registrar’s office first thing tuesday to see when I married Covid19.
No, YOU just googled “emoji meanings” to make sure you’ve been using the correct ones….
I became a detective for the cold cases. Turns out they’re nothing to do with beer.
People that call their kids Randy, is that short for Randolph or Randrew?