If I’d know I only had 4 decent tweets in me when I started, I’d have spread them out a little more.
I’ve been ignoring these dirty dishes for 47 minutes and they still haven’t taken the hint. It’s just awkward now…
I hate when someone steals my idea before I’ve had it.
If intelligence runs in your family, I can only guess it tripped and fell before it got to you.
*takes your compliment*
*stares nervously at it*
If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet…
Then yeah… I’m about as self-helpful as they come.