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Page of hardlyrelevant's best tweets

@hardlyrelevant : "Oh, Monster TRUCK rally. Haha of course..."
*Frankenstein slowly backs out of the room, hiding a 24 pack of condoms behind his back*

@hardlyrelevant: Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO
Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength
Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG

@hardlyrelevant: [I time travel to 1998]
Guy: This is the first showing of Mulan, how does that dude in the front row already know the words to all the songs

@hardlyrelevant: *holds up bread* this is my body
*holds up wine* this is my blood
*holds up fire* and this is my mixtape

@hardlyrelevant: "If anyone has a reason why these two should not be wed, speak now or forever hold your peace"

(from the back)
He saw Creed live in 2003

@hardlyrelevant: (pretending to be well-read to impress a girl)
War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one
“What was your favorite part?”
I’d have to say the Peace

@hardlyrelevant: (interview for construction job)
Foreman: Your resume is just pictures of LEGOs?
Me: (proudly) Didn't even have to look at the instructions

@hardlyrelevant: (in dog boss' office)
"Smith, you're fired."
Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out...
(boss' tail starts wagging)
"Wait Smith get back here"