@harriweinreb

my doctor just told me I’ll never be able to play the xylophone ever again in his office

@harriweinreb

the fire alarm is to warn the fire that the fire department is coming

@harriweinreb

they say plastic straws are ruining the ocean, so i’ve started throwing mine in the garbage instead

@harriweinreb

computer: “save this image as 6606499f1e5c84d7c30.png?”

me: “yea”