@heatherjs

I wonder if the plants in my house get scared when I eat salad?

@heatherjs

Why does everyone want me to come out of my comfort zone? I worked really hard to get there.

@heatherjs

Sex Ed should require them to listen to a crying baby for 5 hours, and to watch the same episode of a cartoon over and over again.

@heatherjs

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

@heatherjs

If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, “I’ll cut you.”

@heatherjs

If you walk around in knight’s armor long enough, people will just get used to it.